4/29/21 7:02 a.m.
Do you remember when I talked to you about how frustrating it is to be at home when nobody understands you? It was tough trying to keep everything together when you get questions like 'why are you so stressed out?' and responses like 'you should be more like your sibling, take things easy'. When you are young, wild, and rebellious, you take everything to offense, whether or not the intentions are well. You told me that you understood where I was coming from and that you were like me once. Slamming the door because you just couldn't stand being in the same living space as your parents. But at the end of the day, you said that you started regretting it when you grew older.
These days, I was lamenting the fact that I am turning 20. I have been living on Earth for 2 decades and I possibly have 6 more decades to go. That would have been an overstatement judging from the life expectancy rates these days. But the main point is that while I am growing older, it didn't occur to me that my parents are growing older as well. And this rather blatant and straightforward fact jumped at me yesterday. Somehow and someway, while I was counting my age, I literally pressed the stop button for my parents. I am struggling to comprehend that my Dad is reaching his big 5 soon. I am rather upset at how incompetent I am currently in terms of my contribution to the household. I know exactly what you are going to say. I need to learn everything I can in my final years in university and I have my entire lifetime to repay them and ensure that they will have a good life ahead of them. And you mark my words, I will do just that.
It is just the pressure and reality sinking in that if I want my Dad to retire early, I need to start taking more ownership and to make wiser and better decisions in how I want to steer my life.
These days I have been missing you a lot. I think back, fondly, on those days we spend together in the kitchen, with Kenny and Aloysius. It has been 3 years since we last saw you and I hope, we hope that you have been well and living your best. Your teachings never fail to stay relevant and I always hold them to my heart, dearly.
Love,
Hui
