August 2022

19/08/22 04:42 p.m.

2 months into my internship, there was a camp that all the interns had to attend. It was organized by the HO HR team. 

Part of the camp was to send all of us to different factories in Thailand to understand the different segments of the company (i.e., wool - legacy business, fibres, PET), this resulted in all of us having the chance to go to different provinces in Thailand, in which I very much enjoyed looking and understanding the factory and mechanical processes. And there is so much work that goes into making a particular product material, seeing how the raw material is slowly transformed and manufactured into the fibres that I am wearing then and there makes me feel so much more thankful for what I have. Our segments are definitely important, however, what is also important is to future-proof our operations. Climate change has an adverse impact on such sites, especially those that are nearer to the coastal areas. While we mitigate the effects of climate change, we also need to be mindful to adapt to climate change. Climate change is coming - just a matter of time, our defences against climate change cannot result in maladaptation (otherwise, it will probably result in more cons than pros in the long run). It was a majestic view when I saw an actual solar farm right in front of my eyes and it was flabbergasting to learn about the flood prevention measures taken by the site. When you are on the ground and you hear the stakeholders' thoughts/see from the stakeholders' perspectives, it will become all-too-real. It is actually extremely easy to get all so caught up with the hard numbers and data, but to be down on-site really put everything into perspective for me.

We also had the chance to travel to Pattaya, Chonburi to celebrate our internship experiences together as a cohort. All the interns were required to present and share with the hiring managers and colleagues about our internship projects and well, I really took the chance to thank everyone whom I have met and worked with here. Though most of them are not there to hear my speech, I hope they know and could feel it from the bottom of my heart. I was so glad that CA was able to come to Pattaya as well. 

Initially, I found it difficult to truly enjoy myself there without my colleagues. A part of me felt like I did not deserve to have so much fun when I am still in the midst of many of my projects. It was not until my manager went onstage to sing his heart out (it was a duet with his son), did I manage to slow let loose of myself. It was that exact moment when I realised I have been holding onto my breath for so long, that I forgot how to breathe and live within the present moment. Moments like that would never happen again, that was when I took it in my stride and sang my heart out with my fellow interns. After the party ended, my manager told me that he was relieved to see me enjoying myself because he was just slightly worried and concerned that I only know how to work hard but not play hard. I would say that hit me pretty hard. "Work Hard, Play Hard"

On the last day of the camp, we went to a marine conservation centre. That day was pouring. The weather, however, was exactly what I felt. The visit/tour around the centre was, to say the least, heart-wrenching. I saw how baby squids were birthed. I saw how much life there was inside every single shark egg. I saw the pregnant sea crabs. But most importantly, I saw how coral reefs were "planted" in efforts of restoration and regeneration. The need for such a conservation centre is to ensure that the outflow = inflow of our marine ecosystem and right now, it seems like the outflow > inflow, which also means that we are consuming too much or that there is overfishing of these species (which is no surprise). This brought back flashbacks from my last trip to St John's Island, where I chanced upon the St John's Island National Marine Laboratory and the "Plant-A-Coral, Seed-A-Reef Programme" and I compared both projects (in Singapore and in Thailand). I did not want to jump to conclusions so quick, but I believe we need to, ought to, and can definitely do more in Singapore. 

On the ceramic pot, I wrote: "I hope you survive and make yourself useful in restoring the ecosystem."

I left the island with a heavy heart, buried in my thoughts. But there was something within me that probably sparked. I am uncertain what exactly it is, but I could feel it.

Throughout the camp, I have gotten really close to someone from HR, MR. We dotted the camp with really invaluable conversations and made valuable memories. There were many parallels, both of us could see in each other, which allowed us to click right off the bat. With many honest thoughts and opinions, we became close and I found a friend in her. MR is special. She is generous, patient, and genuine. At the same time, she is direct, efficient, and sensitive. Her work ethic really inspires me and I do see how her working attitude and mindset guide me as I enter my professional career. She went on to help me solve some of the problems that I faced right before the end of my internship. She has been one of the kindest and nicest people I met in my life and we promised each other that we will take care of ourselves and do the best we can in whatever we do. She reminded me that it is alright to lean into my emotions and it is completely alright for people to know how I feel sometimes - nothing vulnerable, nothing embarrassing, and nothing too loud. 

"Good things happen to you because you deserve it. Bad things happen to you because you need to learn from them." - MR

April - July 2022

19/08/22 03:29 p.m.

It has been a while since I blogged about my months. April, May, June, and July are all missed months of favourable memories. To be honest, I did write a blog post for April, but April was a downright terrible month. Not that I was cursed by April's Fools' Day, but April was really an all-time low relative to all the other months, especially in hindsight. 

Everything makes sense in hindsight, after all.

I spent April and May wrapping up the final months of my internship. There were still many client-facing projects ongoing and nearer to the end, I interviewed for an internship opportunity, which little did I know, would send me straight to Bangkok, Thailand, to the land of smiles. There was an immediate connection and head-on alignment with my interviewer, who singlehandedly supported my application and became my hiring manager. I received the offer for the role soon after.

I remember my last day in Singapore was rather hectic. Other than wrapping up my internship with a meeting to introduce the analytical tool that I have created for the regional sustainability team, I was also sitting in the final ceremony for the Youth Ecosperity Dialogue (YED) 2022. That day I placed two full stops on two experiences all at one go. 

I remember that I was truly overwhelmed with emotions that were hard to express with mere words - it would truly be undermining them if described in words. 

I remember I was introduced to the concept of the "Tragedy of the Commons". We can use the tragedy of the commons to explain many of the common phenomenons that we are facing now and at the same time, the concept could explain many of the unanswered "why"s I had. Essentially, to summarise the tragedy of the commons, it would be that what is individually rational is collectively irrational. All of us are driven by our own personal self-interests, but what we always forget or choose to ignore is that the effects of our personal decisions will always be squared by the number of people who decide to do the same thing. Hence, what is rational for us when done individually becomes irrational when done collectively. 

With this at the back of my head, I boarded the plane to Bangkok. Choosing the flight was one of my main concerns and the least I could do is really to opt for the least emitting flight, which turns out to still be ~186KG of CO2e * 2 (round-trip). I told myself I would need to make this trip a worthwhile one for the CO2e at the very least. 

I was down with COVID-19 the week I arrived and during my 7-day quarantine, I was very thankful to my colleagues and my fellow interns for delivering food for me and sending me daily words of encouragement and supportive messages. At the same time, I was very mindful of the waste that I created, all from plastic bags to paper containers. The entire experience shed light on my behaviour and I was hypersensitized to every minor thing that I do. 

Despite the odds stacking up on me, I was asymptomatic, so I requested my work laptop and jumped straight into my internship virtually. And that was when I met JM and the rest of the team. Well, the first thing that was announced was that JM was going to leave the team for Singapore and he had only a month left with us. I dare say meeting JM was one of the best things that ever happened to me. No matter how quentin he was, it was very much needed for the all-too-dreamy me. He slapped me with cold hard truths about the space but was patient in explaining the entire landscape from green bonds to the energy markets around the world. I found myself spiralling into the Google rabbit hole after every single discussion or meeting I had with him. Needless to say, I was challenged and stretched after researching, forecasting, and valuing the different renewable energy projects that came my way. JM is a really cool but fancy, fleece-jacket or polo-shirt kind of guy, it was a blast having him around talking about all the headless things to all the serious things. He is really a supportive one, especially when I found myself at my lows when I felt homesick or when I ran into trouble with my relationships back home. I remember how we were supposed to spend hours on the financial model but ended up looking up Google Maps - going around Bangkok to figure out the best food places I needed to go to. I remember how conversations we had about life used to go on and on literally without an end unless another meeting popped up. He, very slowly, became a really trusted and reliable friend I can rely on in Bangkok, and now, definitely beyond.

Bidding him goodbye (after eating his homebaked cheesecake) and having one of the last dinners in Bangkok with the team was rather emotional, I knew my internship would take a different turn without him around. I had my fingers crossed for him and for me. A few weeks into his time in Singapore, we checked in and had a long call about his experience thus far in his new job and office in Singapore. Needless to say, he had been enjoying himself and is still enjoying himself there. I was happy for him, of course. But JM really took it into his own hands to enrich and inject me with all the experiences he had and all the knowledge he had gathered during his time here. JM is a different breed and that I can say for sure. 

His impending leave, coupled with the restrictions (due to COVID-19) loosening up, resulted in many gatherings among the colleagues of the team - SL, CA, Sed, FP. All of us bonded and really became very close. We continued to have multiple meet-ups and gatherings during work and off-work together, even after JM's leave. I began working with SL, FP, and CA a lot more on various different projects - more on the strategy and commercial side of sustainability, exploring biodiversity, diversity, equity, and inclusion, ESG to plastic credits, PET recycling and collection. My work became had a good balance with me on one side becoming more research-focused and high-level in strategy creation, and more granular in building cost models and value proposition models for commercial projects. All of which were daily, but what became daily was also the fun, jokes, and peals of laughter my colleagues-friends had added to my life.

Beyond them, I had my fellow SMU interns (LFDF and Sha) who have been here with me since the start. With Sing coming and joining us for a month and CSJ thereafter as well. My BKK experience was more colourful with them around - they really brightened up my grey days and added more splashes of colours to my already coloured days. We went on multiple trips around Bangkok, from simple grocery and/or 7/11 runs to following Mark Wein's Little India's food tour, to going to random places for the sake of being around one another and chilling. It did not take me long to realize that there was something I could learn from every single one of them and something I admired about them:

- Sha is comfortably outgoing and I love how simple she is as a person. Her simplistic outlook on life helped me to declutter my thoughts and uncomplicate many things in my life. 

- LFDF is technically savvy and an all-rounded person. He is a gentleman in his own right and a very solid and reliable friend, who gave me the life advice I needed in.

- CSJ is brilliant and is both a high and low-maintenance kind of person. She has motherly characteristics and somehow had everything and anything I needed from medications to daily essentials. 

Slowly, all of them (my colleagues-friends and my fellow interns) made BKK feel like a second home away from home.