Reality said Hello

09/04/23 12:24 p.m.

Do not lose yourself. My prof reminded us that on the last lesson of the semester. 

I realised how apt this was. I have been trying to determine what was wrong with me for the past 3 - 4 months. Now it is easy to say that I have lost myself. I lost sight of myself inside out, completely and devastatingly. I forgot what I was doing this for. I forgot who am I doing this for. I forgot why I am doing this, altogether. 

It was a sad, slopping, but tight slap in the face. If anything, it was also a good wake-up call. I needed to remind myself who I am. And so, this is me actively doing it. This is who I am:

I am Hui Ling, 22 this year. Passionate about the world - our environment, including the land we are standing on, the ocean which seems ever so boundless, and the air - the very thing that keeps us all alive. I want to be a protector of Earth for the longevity of everything and anything that lives on it. To do that, I want to utilise the skills that I possess, that I have been honing to value-add to companies to help them to rethink and to integrate sustainability within their businesses. As I progress in my career, I want to explore different solutions that companies can invest in to help accelerate the growth of sustainable businesses and businesses that help us sustain. As I grow older, I want to be able to invest in solutions (i.e., technologies) that I believe in so that I can help to propel its growth. I will always take pride in the work that I am doing because they very much represent me as a person - my purpose, my beliefs, and my hopes & dreams. Beyond my work, I am a daughter, a sister, a partner, and a friend to many. And they are important stakeholders in my life as well.

And this is very much, me. 

Trust that I will come back to this whenever I waver because I trust that it would be more common than I think it will be. So now, Hui, all the decisions that you will make need to be aligned with who you are as a person. Nothing more and nothing less. Do this for yourself, for the people around you, and for what you stand for.

Do not lose yourself.

Hui

February's Revelations

09/04/23 12:04 p.m.

I felt stuck in the position that I was in. And despite not being motivated to do the things I was supposed to do, I was still trudging on day by day. Indeed, my hope (purpose) and my people kept me through this process. Hope from the realization that what I do matters to the people around me and to the company I was in. They understood where I was coming from and they wanted it to be accelerated at a faster pace than it is right now. There are a few projects that would be considered flagship projects for THA. And I am excited to kickstart those with the team. The people I am working with within the warehouse are receptive, open, and as enthusiastic as myself regarding sustainability. I attribute it to the alignment that such projects could bring benefits to not only the environment but also to them and their work. With the successful implementation of the first circularity project pilot, I am in the process of starting up a second one - hopefully within the next 2 weeks. I will have the first kick-off meeting next week and then we will start the pilot programme after communications with the different internal stakeholders. In parallel, I will have to liaise with our vendor for the financial payment process, at least for the pilot programme before I continue with the onboarding process as both a customer and a vendor for us. I do have to close up some gaps with our previous vendors and study the contract we have with them. The last thing for this month is the pilot programme of another project looking into the switching of materials from plastic to paper; if this is quick, I will bring Stella into the picture to switch out other materials - so that we can reach our target of 35% virgin plastics, almost immediately - at least within the next month. 

At the end of the day, you must trust yourself and get through things yourself. There is no point trusting your teammates when they have proven & have fallen below their expectations again and again. It is upsetting but if you are the team lead, you have to keep going on because if you don't, you are pretty much screwed for the project segment. I will try to score well on my essay (not purely for the grade but because I love writing about sustainability).  

Weekends have been a short getaway for me so that I can get through the following week. It has become extremely tiring to not be doing anything at all or to just focus on taking a break for my headspace. I thought that as long as I love the work that I am doing, I will not require a break per se to get me through the week. But, I suppose what drained me out was never the work, it is the people whom I am working with. This realization was more painful to the ears and more striking. Behind every natural disaster is a man-made disaster, unfortunately. 

Vietnam's trip was a fresh breath of air. Even though it was a tiring trip, having to rush some work on bus rides or late into the night, all while dealing with relationships and critical stakeholders, it was still a trip to remember for a lifetime. The relationships I had managed to build and the interactions I have had with the locals on the ground have been nothing short of meaningful. I was reminded of life's simplicities and how important it is to give oneself time to recharge and rejuvenate. 

February was just a whirlpool. Came and go with nothing much left to think about.

Hui