02/24/24 04:58 p.m.
I started this year, 2024, with a bang honestly.
I became extremely family-oriented throughout 2023 and spent a lot of time being around my family and with myself alone. My last internship of 2023 ended in November and I had the whole month of December to myself. I spent most of the month at home, cooking, and doing housework with my Mum to prepare for the upcoming Chinese New Year. It was a very peaceful month, to say the least. I became more in tune with the type of dishes and food I can cook. And without fail, I will always end the day with a run around my neighbourhood.
The first week of 2024, I went back to VJ for homecoming and it was enjoyable to play football and see everyone again. Afrin came by and it was nothing but exciting to see my good o' Aussie friend again. And of course, she was doing great and on track to becoming a doctor. I caught up with my classmates and the soccer girls. Met some of my teachers back then. You know that time flies when you see streaks of grey and white hair. It has been 4 years since I graduated from VJ.
The following week I started a new internship at another sustainability consulting firm, easily one of the best ones in the field. I very quickly integrated myself among the many new faces and people whom I met. What really stood out to me was the depth of analysis that this firm provides - very aligned with me as a person. I dedicate myself to research so that I can always support decision-making using a knowledge-driven approach. Thus far, I have completed multiple research assignments and tasks in renewable energy strategy and procurement. It has been a steep learning curve but I do feel that the gradient has yet to smoothen out yet. At the end of it, I hope to see myself covering a wide array of topics, including renewable energy, climate risk, and decarbonization strategy, and be super quick and fast in identifying levers for them. Like what Mr Y says... I need things to be automatic for me, i.e., within the snap of a finger, I would know immediately. I think I have much to learn and to improve on. I am giving myself a runway of 3 years here and I hope to be able to be quick-witted, adaptable, and flexible. I will aim to value-add and do the best that I can for the planet. I hope that Earth will guide me. Deciding to do things after graduation has been tough. I stayed up countless nights, no matter how tired I was, just being stuck in this dilemma of not knowing where to go and how to approach it. Everything yet nothing made sense to me at all. I was terribly hating this situation that I was in and I felt like I was trying to be someone I am not. I was trying to get on a level that I am not there yet. I was wearing a hat that was too big for my head. Imposter syndrome would hit me twice as hard if I were to go towards that direction. I then decided to stay, to stay within the zone where I knew I could contribute and learn. I was basically a coward for not putting myself outside of my comfort zone. But I gave myself the assurance that I would be back and I am glad and hopeful that when I am ready, the doors will still be open for me.
I started my last semester of school as well and trudging through the final semester has been nothing but painful - or I thought so. But I met a bunch of wonderful girls that made my last semester probably nothing but the best few semesters I ever had in my 4 years in SMU. They were the funniest, quirkiest, most dedicated, and most committed bunch of people I have ever encountered. And when we come in together, it is truly like fireworks. Fireworks that lit up my dullest days. Mid-point presentation with our client went too well, super well in fact. On my end, there is a strong need for us to really manage our expectations for the client. But I can foresee what the deliverables for the client would look like. I really hope that we are able to support them in making decisions that will help them fulfil their long-term goals. The rest of my modules are pretty standard, though I am truly finding some fun in Management Accounting. My affinity with numbers has never jumped straight at me as hard as when I am doing MA.
I was involved in 3 beach clean-ups for these 2 months and I hope to keep creating chances for me to be involved in this scene. I missed seeing the warm blue ocean and the beaches. I would never ever get bored of this side of Singapore. This year is also my first time facilitating beach clean-ups with Stridy and I am very excited to participate in more such sessions to come. I end up meeting so many more people who are super passionate about the world as much or even more than I do. I don't intend to ever leave this side of Youth activism. I am targeting to become even more active in this field this year, for the right reasons.
Regardless, February was really more tiring than January. I could consistently wake up at 6AM in January because I needed to complete some assignments or to finish some work. But when February came about, my physical health was deteriorating (and I literally could feel it) and I lost weight. I was constantly cold and was wrapping myself in a jacket all the time. When I end the semester in April, I hope to be able to get my health back on track and keep myself fit.
I hope to also get myself back on track with Football, I have been going rather consistently throughout January, but as February rolled around, I became so busy and occupied that Monday nights became impossible for me to just go for Football. Work was rather intense in the first month and slowly winded down at the end of the month and caught back up in February. I am staffed on two ongoing projects and they have been interesting - I managed to keep myself up to speed for both and I am obviously thankful for the opportunities that I have been given and I would do nothing but my best when it comes to them (those that matter, of course). I hope to meet more people this year and to be able to do more good things for this world.
I hope that I learn to let myself go sometimes and not beat myself up for my cowardice.
Onwards to March 2024 as we close up Q1'24.
Rookie for life,
Hui
