I fear.

2/23/21 11:38 a.m.

Today’s world is becoming progressively interlinked, fuelling the flow of tangible and intangible resources (youmatter, 2020, para. 1). While there is still a place for patriotism, extreme patriotism — nationalism, in contrast, is not important in today's world. By viewing nationalism as an “ideology based on the premise that the individual’s loyalty and devotion to the nation-state surpass other individual or group interests” (Kohn, 2020), this article discusses the expired importance of nationalism on the premise that it inhibits advancements towards global goals and fragmentises societies. 

Nationalism delays humankind’s advancements towards sustainable development goals that require global partnerships. Nationalism breeds parochialism, curating an impression that we should care only about local problems, forgetting the big picture. Nationalists prioritize their self-interests above the greater good. From the drowning of Aylan Kurdi (Smith, 2015) to US leaving the Paris agreement (McGrath, 2020), tackling global issues cannot wait, but not everyone thinks the same. Not Nationalists. Being an outspoken individual, I always use Instagram to raise awareness. With the rise of slacktivism during Covid-19 (Zamre, 2020), my social media feed was flooded with peers sharing social issues. Amidst the spotlight on the inequality faced by migrant workers, I discussed the issue of child labour and got dissed for raising it. “Shouldn’t you care more about what’s happening here?” (Leong, HL, personal communication, March 20, 2020)

Caring about global and local issues should not be mutually exclusive because “the whole world is our backyard” (Evans, 2016, 13:10). While education is able to change the narrative by encouraging students to see beyond our borders, its effectiveness relies on Professors, like yourself to spark and guide in-class discussions for students to see themselves as global citizens and their potential to be change-makers.

Moreover, Nationalism weakens our social fabric by stirring anti-immigrant sentiments. Nationalists adopt the "us-versus-them" narrative and view globalization as “a zero-sum game” (Gladding, 2018), creating a societal rift. Having personally encountered Singaporeans shunning away from migrant workers, this manifestation can be dated back to the 2008’s Not-In-My-Backyard syndrome (Ng, 2020) and the 2013’s Little India riots, highlighting how nationalism is widening the rift as the world continues experiencing “time-space compression” (Harvey, 1990).  

Globalization is unstoppable for countries like Singapore, therefore, viewing oneself as a national citizen before a global citizen is dangerous. Countries are drivers of global changes. But nationalism forces humankind to turn against themselves, losing its very importance in today’s globalized world.  

Be at the Top

12/26/20 12:33 a.m.

Let them be. Let them flaunt. Let them strut. Let them do whatever hell they want. It is what it is. 

Focus on getting better, if you refuse to co-exist, you be better, you be stronger, you be smarter. You have seen only the tip of the iceberg and I am pretty sure this is not the worst of it yet. I have no idea when it will come, but you better sure that you are prepared for it. Expect that it will come, these people you will meet will scare you, anger you, but promise me you will try to make peace and work cohesively together first. When things get ugly, hold yourself together, you have done your best and you did what you could. No hard feelings. You have choices and decisions, choose wisely and, follow through without regret.

Being ambitious is good but being out and open exposes your weakness, hold on to yourself, and don't crumble under pressure and expectations. You are better than that. Learn to listen to your inner non-conscious mind, follow your gut feelings.

Survive the next 6 months and, make the best out of it. Life should be more than just surviving. 

A note to self 1.0

Dear Hui Ling, 

Things may seem tough but I assure you that things will get better. There will be times where you feel like crying, sure, go ahead and let it all out. Know very clearly who you are as a person and what exactly do you stand for. Go for opportunities where every single part of you feels so strongly for, otherwise, take a step back and reconsider. Don't rush into things without thinking because I assure you, you will regret it. Choose the right people to lean on and do not be afraid to be vulnerable and to be who you are. 

Ride the waves and take it all in. It will be more therapeutic than you think.

Much love,

Hui

Whose Truth?

11/22/2020 11.33 p.m.

Is your truth the truth? If yes, then is my truth the truth? So now, whose truth is the truth? 

We choose to see things the way we see them and that becomes our truth. But is that necessarily the truth? I am afraid not.

We are living in our own warped dimension and we see things under our own lens and our own tinted glasses. Honestly, there is no truth in this world. Stories are twisted every single time you tell them to different people. The past is not really the past anymore. You change the narrative of your future much more than you can imagine. The only constant is the present because the present is present. 

And so if that's the case, why am I allowing my truth to affect me on levels that I cannot seem to explain, especially now that I am aware that my truth is really not the truth.

It is a mountain of assumptions, predictions, lame-ass scientific explanations, smart-alec type of reasonings and most important of all-the cherry on top? My insecurities. 

Just felt like typing

11/03/2020 07:30 p.m.

There have many moments where I opened up a blank draft, wanting to sound out my thoughts because just sometimes, the world is too noisy and there is just no space for me, my voice, and my opinions. But, that's alright. It really does not matter, but when things start to get suffocating and I feel like the entire world is against me and I feel like I am alone in this fight. I get restless and uncertain. 

In a blink of an eye, I am reaching the end of a semester, so many things happened and I met so many people. My life has not yet changed drastically but, it has definitely become more eventful. With AIESEC, I have met so many people from around the world and I have had the chance to speak to Youths from other countries like Japan, Indonesia, the Philippines, and Vietnam. 

"The world is so small" is always a statement that is in synchronous with the growth of technology. But I really felt the end of the spectrum only now. I have been talking and connecting with people from Vietnam, from Vietnam, from Indonesia, and from the Philippines. I can proudly say that I have friends beyond Singapore now. Other than getting to know their everyday lives, we talk about dreams and aspirations. It is extremely heartwarming to hear from them and their stories. Hearing from what they have to say and the impact that they want to leave on this world that we all live in, I, too, ought to do better than whatever I am doing. No, this is not a competition, but I feel that we are all motivating each other to become a better person and to change the world in our own little ways. 

I decided to run for LCVP for oGX in AIESEC in SMU, there are many reasons why I decided to do so, but mostly so driven by the potential that I see in AIESEC. AIESEC makes me want to do better and most importantly, be better. I submitted my package just 2 days ago and I will be having my interview and elections this coming Thursday. I am scared but I am not going to let that affect how I carry myself and how I want others to see me and view me. 

Amidst all of these, I had a chat with the Founder of an enterprise I am volunteering in currently. He is one rare human, I must say. He made me feel both hopeful and hopeless at the same time. He shared with me some troubles that the enterprise has and how they are really restricting so many more things he can do and so much more impact he can bring about, beyond Singapore, specifically with regards to the sex workers overseas, in Indonesia. For the longest of time, social issues overseas are issues that I discuss so much with my peers and friends all the time but it has always been the case where we can only talk about them, but not do anything about them because it is always "not within our capacity to do anything about them". However, talking to him and hearing about what he intends to do for them genuinely shocked me because he really just gave me a tight slap out of my disillusioned self, popped my bubble, and woke me up. "I can never take cannot for an answer when nothing is being done. I will need to do it and see before seeing whether I can or cannot myself." 

When they said everyone has the potential to be a hero/shero, they weren't kidding about it. I feel empowered and powerful on a very personal level. I feel that the weight of the world is on me. But I don't think I am the only one who is feeling this way. In fact, I hope that more people can feel that way because everyone has the potential to lift people up, really. 

But this dug up a lot of concerns and worries and there are many things that are on my mind right now. I feel uncertain and distraught. But I feel even more uncomfortable thinking this way because does it even make any sense for me to feel this way? Isn't this what I have always been wanting to work towards? Then why am I having so many second thoughts about this? I haven't been talking to anyone really for the past week or so, and I think I am just drowning myself in my own thoughts. I feel like talking to someone just to hear what they have to say, from an objective point of view, when my semester ends, I will do just that, but for now, I know I need to focus right now and do what I need to do first because I am responsible for my actions and I need to be liable for them right now. 

Who is to blame?

 09/06/2020 07:07 p.m.

Yes, our education system is tough. You will realize it sooner or later that the pressure, the stress, and everything in between is as tough as it sounds like. But I will want to urge you to think in a different way, try to maximize and make the best out of the situation that you are in currently, or will be in in years to come. Learn with a purpose, learn because you want to learn more but not because you want to do well in examinations, learn because you are curious and you are dying to know all these wonderous phenomenons that are happening all around you and all around the world.

Having gone through the Singapore's education system for 12 years straight, if you want me to remember every single fact or theory that I had learned, it will be tough for me to regurgitate everything out. But that is neither a concern nor the main point, the skills that I have learned that is truly rooted deep within me is the myriad ways of thinking and the kaleidoscope of perspectives that we can choose to take to solve problems or to make big and important decisions. 

I would consider it a failure for the education system if I hear that one, as young as 10 years old is studying and learning about Science just so that he/she can do well in the school papers. That is just pathetic and I just wonder where is the fun in all of it. I remember vividly that in my Science lessons back in my Primary School, we had so many Science projects and we adopted the Scientific way of thinking and looking at conclusions and outcomes. I just hope that our future generations will focus more on that instead. I hope that they don't lose the joy of learning new things, discovering new things and applying what they have learnt in school to real-life contexts and situations. 

I have been saying how the education system needs to change, but does it really need to change? Or is the way people are talking about it needs to change? Or, how people are viewing it that needs to change? 

It is what it is.

07/10/2020 10:25 a.m.

I think at this time and age, people are slowly becoming increasingly disenchanted by humanity. At the end of the day, we can all be sharing and talking about the worldly issues that are happening all around the globe but you question the act of slacktivism. It is, in fact, a new word to me as I am typing this down. I was trying to find a word for it and I chanced upon this term. 

"The United Nations defines slacktivism as when people 'support a cause by performing simple measures' but are not necessarily 'engaged or devoted to making a change.' Other frequently used terms are ‘clicktivism’ or ‘arm-chair activism’. 

Basically, slacktivism is a way to voice your opinion about a certain cause without taking to the streets or risking your neck. It’s the viral hashtag you’re retweeting. The pink ribbon on your shirt. The rainbow-coloured frame on your Facebook picture. The ‘Save The Turtles’-petition you signed last week." (Citizen Lab, 2020)

Activism should take time and effort. 

When the Black Lives Matter movement started, it struck a chord in my heart. I knew and I was aware of the prejudice and discrimination the Black people in America endured throughout the years and I educated myself even more after the movement took off. I learned more about slave traders and systemic racism, which were topics that I was unfamiliar with. I played my part, I shared, I liked and I strike conversations up with the people around me to raise awareness and to really at the end of the day, motivating others to educate and learn more about the entire issue. But I question myself deeply am I doing enough?

Am I doing enough? The next question is what more can I do. It gets a bit brain-wrecking because there is just so much I can do, being in a position like that. A small-town girl in Singapore. Slacktivism. 

"We know that our Facebook like won’t actually feed a hungry child. And that chronic diseases don’t take into account how many viral hashtags condemn their existence. In the end, we still have to put our money where our mouth is." (Citizen Lab, 2020)

I think at the end of the day, on a more personal level, one needs to be actively educating oneself of all the issues and learn to empathize. Taking the initiative to do so is a win for humanity and for all of us in the long run. Learn how to empathize, practise being empathetic and make the effort to be empathetic. Empathy can be inculcated and it can be learned. It will be good and beneficial for all of us earthlings at the end of the world.  

In my entire lifetime, I was and I still am deeply concerned about some major issues that I find myself always gravitating back towards at random points in my life. As I grow older, I have more autonomy and freedom to really fight for what I think is right and fight by taking action. Taking action is really partaking and contributing to the systems which are driving certain changes in the right direction in these realms. Hence, straightforwardly, the next question I should be asking myself is how to take action? Because clearly, actions speak so much louder than words. 

There is so much in the world to fight for and words are so damn easy to say. I just turned 19, and my average life expectancy is 83.99 years (2020). I have 64.99 years to bring about changes that matter to me and to the world. If I were to put things into perspective, changes take a lot of time and effort, especially when mindsets and attitudes are involved. When I die, I want to see change, I want to be pioneering these changes and take things into my own hand. If not now, then when. I am scared of doing certain things and joining certain movements abroad, but I think what I really need to straighten out within me, to what extent am I able to push myself to, to bring about the changes that matter to me.