09/25/23 12:57 a.m.
It has been a tiring month, to say the very least.
I was riddled with sickness and was in and out of clinics and hospitals for appointments and dental surgery. Though I became friends with the dental surgeons there, which made things so much better for me. The Hospital is really not where I want to spend much time in.
I was back in action with Football, playing as a left-back in this sunig. I think that this time round things felt very different for me. I was more attached to the team than other sunigs. Interestingly, I felt more personally involved with the lives of my teammates and am more active in initiating conversations and in wanting to get to know them better. I genuinely love this team a lot, but I know I am holding back my self-expression because, at the back of my mind, I know how short-lived everything would be. Soon, it will all be gone - the exchange kids are going to go back to their home country, the seniors will go on to graduate, and the sophomores will go for their exchange programmes. Leaving everything and nothing behind. Perhaps, this is the reality that I hated and will regardless, come. Beyond that, the pressure was really mounting, probably because I felt that I owed more to this team. I needed to do better and play better. The inner demons and voices dominated my headspace pretty easily and I could feel myself becoming mentally weaker (as compared to before when I was 18/19). Thankfully, CW and my football pals were there for me throughout. Felt really cared for by this bunch of people. I am truly grateful.
Work has been catching up with me this month, with highly volatile peaks and troughs. Managing work with internal deadlines and academics proved to be challenging at the beginning but got much better now that I am already 6 weeks into my semester. The diversity of the work that I have been getting was challenging to a certain extent, but I would say that it is a combination of both limited time and tedious tasks that added more complexities to the end deliverables. I managed to build trust-based relationships with my colleagues as time went by. With that came an increased scope of responsibility.
I have been spending much time in the morning reading news on Reuters and CNBC to catch myself abreast of movements in the financial markets, geopolitical scene, economies, and sustainability trends and highlights. This habit that I have been trying to build since a while ago seems to have finally stuck with me. I love how interesting the world is sometimes. People are funny and markets are complex. Unravelling different concepts or theories that interplay with each other to cause a certain phenomenon is so interesting to me. And I am glad that every single day is different.
Mid-terms are coming in hard and strong. And I have been applying for graduate programmes ahead. Many things are in the pipeline right now and I am really just taking things as it goes on top of having fixed objectives and targets for the week and month. It is still a win for me this month because of how well I managed my time and balanced all of my commitments. I deliver what I promise and I try my best in all of them. Just a reminder perhaps, I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Rookie for life,
Hui
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