12/27/23 10:21 p.m.
I ended another internship a few weeks ago and officially became their "friend", a name that ex-interns/colleagues of the company would take on. It is super cute. We visited the Senoko Waste-to-Energy Power Plant together and had a mini Christmas celebration afterwards. All of us each had ~2 slices of fruit cake and shared conversations over cups of warm red wine. I had a pretty intense conversation with one of our newest principal consultants, Joe and let's just say, I enjoyed every second of it. He was full of energy and such a great storyteller! I was pretty much captivated by his journey or his "story". I think we truly first bonded over the CFPP research piece I shared with the company. It was pretty much the first time we met each other for the first time, but it was so genuine and it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside afterwards - a sign of a really good conversation and time spent connecting with different people. Sad that Corrado could not join us on such a joyous day and occasion. Honestly, after I left the company, I have been missing his jokes and funny remarks a little way too much (which could be a cause of concern, but I am a diehard fan of his humour, haha).
I met up with my good O' friend, Jom before he flew back to Thailand. I missed catching up with him and just talking about random topics. He is another one with a sick sense of humour. I do miss what and how life was like when I was in Thailand. I was all alone, which made it super easy for me to focus on my work, skills, and self-development. I am definitely looking at job opportunities in Bangkok, Thailand, and if I could get one there, I probably would take it on without hesitation. I initially thought that the salary would be something that would be of great concern, but given the experiences, I would be exposed to, I do think that this is something I can do while I am still young (when my parents are not at a concerning age yet). I literally have nothing to lose and have no financial obligations when I am young. I do not need to be accountable to anyone at all, I chart my own path and I do what I think would be best to develop myself and create the impact that I want to see in the world.
Recently, I have been feeling like a combination of unintelligent and ignorant, or for the lack of a better word, dumb. So, I literally have been dedicating myself to specific topics to read and understand more about what they are all about. I refuse to deep dive into some terms that have been thrown around i.e., Article 6, because of how complex it would be if I were to look into the historical contexts and how it has been developing thus far etc. But, I suppose that there would not be a better time than right now for me to read through all the reports and to really understand what on EARTH is going on. And that's what I basically did for the past 3 weeks after I ended my internship. Amidst my meet-ups with some of my closest friends, I was just reading and condensing what I had learned into research decks for myself. I finished one for the ASEAN power grid and how it affects the RECs market (link) and I am actually working on Article 6 and probably biodiversity credits next. The more I read, the less dumb I feel I am getting, and most importantly, the more I am actually stretching my mind to rethink what I thought I knew and to also understand what the intentions of different stakeholders are i.e., what is at stake for them.
At the same time, I enrolled in a certification course to work on my fundamentals of investments. So, at least, I can not only make good financial decisions for myself but also understand the complexities behind sustainable finance and the intricate world of blended finance. Though it might not seem difficult to understand on the surface, I find it interesting how deals are made or how project financing structures could be firmed up and created. Well, I am not sure whether I will be able to have that chance to explore that in my next internship. But, I am definitely going to learn more on my own regardless.
This month has been a month of awakening and learning. I figured out many things on a personal level, especially when it comes to standards, expectations, and my future. I realized that I am still very much a free soul, after 4 years. And no one can suppress that part of myself and I don't want to hide that part of me anymore for the sake of "looking put together". I am living this life for myself and I will live it on my own terms. And I know that it is a privilege that I have, which is even more important for me to maximize and do my best every step of the way.
I don't know how much my life will change after the first quarter of next year, but I am going to trust the process. I will only make decisions that are 101% aligned with myself - nothing more or less. So as always, I will take heart and will remind myself constantly to focus on what is at hand and do my best for whatever comes. As long as there is an impact that I can believe in, I will think that it would be sufficient for now.
Heart strong, Mind stronger!
Rookie for life,
Hui
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