2-4 September

09/08/24 03:13 p.m.

Just back a few days ago and to say the least, the first three days have been extremely tiring. I enjoyed my solitude, I was meeting people of different levels and enjoying conversations with diverse people from diverse backgrounds. I think I am slowly discovering different pathways or versions of my future could look like. This is super exciting because I think I am meeting interesting people who would be able to chart that way for me and share with me how that future could look like. 

Key takeaways from my conference:

1. Current investments into LNG and related infrastructure might lead to an impending oversupply of LNG, facing the forecasted fall in demand of LNG in leading Asian countries such as South Korea, Japan. Japan's LNG faltering demand will be driven by an increased focus in nuclear and ammonia co-firing. And South Korea's expected fall in demand is largely driven by the comeback of nuclear energy. Unless the replacement of liquid fuel with LNG (i.e., city gas with LNG or diesel with LNG) in China takes off, demand of LNG will continue to fall in these LNG-heavy developed countries. Given the rise of EVs in China and the precaution required for city gas pipeline networks, effects are expected to be muted. There is an expected high risk of stranded LNG assets and critics are touting that any oversupply of LNG will just be routed to Southeast Asian countries. South Korea's shipbuilding industry is still rolling out LNG carriers and need to start changing their mindset away from short-term growth and prioritize long-term growth of the LNG industry. To read more: link.
2. Indonesia and Thailand are seemingly laggards in renewable energy engagement with corporations and are set to miss out on a huge opportunity, following the "fight" to attract data centres and AI-related and semi-conductor industries onshore. Indonesia is still supportive of corporate-driven renewable energy efforts and there are significant barriers to implement and execute solutions such as onsite solar. Net metering is still not available for corporations. Though there is significant national interest to develop the RE manufacturing capabilities and capacity of the country, there needs to be incentives to support and enable RE growth, which could be enabled by the private sector. Current oversupply of electricity in the country makes it difficult for further renewable energy to be injected to the grid. On the other hand, Thailand's EGAT is finding foot in staying relevant within the changing landscape. While it explores innovative business models via the ERC Sandbox, there needs to be a well-carved out position for EGAT, especially with the current pricing model (fixed price + fuel tariff adjustments). Even with the roll-out of the pilot of 2,000MW for data centres, or Utility Grid Tariff, EGAT has still a huge role to play, i.e., providing usage of the public transmission grid and grid-connecting the RE assets from the ERC RE auctions that were launched. Furthermore, with EGAT having the foresight to take on the role as the national issuer of I-RECs years ago, this already solidifies EGAT's position and interests in the changing national energy landscape. Last, EGAT's focus seems to be on the combo of hydroelectric dam + floating solar farm + BESS (i.e., 24MW floating hydro-solar hybrid project at Ubol Ratana Dam in Khon Kaen province). One of the many projects - part of the 16 floating solar projects with a cumulative capacity of 2,725MW. To read more: link.
3. The Philippines has extremely stronghold in its renewable energy regulations and policies, however execution and implementation seems to be an obstacle that many power players are facing. Grid stability studies, undertaken by the government is taking a long lead time to be conducted and completed, delaying the COD of RE assets. While coal assets are in the midst of phasing out, there are indications that LNG will be more than just a transitory solution for the country. Given that the power industry in Philippines is 100% liberalised, there is zero to no incentive for gencos to be lowering their cost of electricity generation, as all costs would be passed on to the end-consumers eventually (which explains why electricity tariff rates in the Philippines is second to Singapore in ASEAN, and third to Singapore and Japan in the entirety of Asia). But there is a bigger problem for the biodiversity in the seas, i.e., Verde Island Passage in the Philippines. LNG shipping and the risk of spills would threaten the biodiverse coal ecosystem in the country. Back in February 2023, 800,000 litres of industrial oil was spilled due to the sinking of MT Prince Empress, affecting up to 36,000 hectares of coral reefs, mangroves and seagrass. Energy transition is a long marathon, sure, but at what cost? To read more: link. Another interesting topic to look at in the Philippines is ACEN's pilot scheme of transition credits with Genzero and Keppel. This would likely go live on a G2G, bilateral Article 6 transaction level, in which Singapore companies are able to purchase these carbon avoidance credits to offset up to 5% of its carbon tax obligations. Ongoing conversations seem to be very positive, but ultimately, we do have to understand better the offtaker commitments, which hopefully would make the news soon. To read more: link

If anything, one thing to note about the Asia Pacific's market is that things are everchanging and extremely fast-moving. There are still so much uncertainty that I am trying to figure out and obviously I am hoping to be able to plug in all of these knowledge gaps as I go along.

Cheers to more learning!

And as always...

Rookie for life,

Hui

Tired

 08/18/24 01:24 p.m.

I think I need to be patient and be clear of the goals I have in mind.

I don't think I am burnt out per se, I think I am seeing a very bleak near-term future. Perhaps, this is why it is causing me much anxiety - that I don't see progress or that the progress is impeded in the future. I don't know how I can take action when it is a cycle or otherwise timing issue. That the people here are not ready for what is to come. How can we accelerate that? How can we move the hands on the clock arbitrarily? Maybe in my first 5 years, I could focus on, as much as I hate it, science-based communications or perhaps more like engineering-based communications. Without an engineering background, I need learn double harder or more than others who have a background in energy systems, for instance. Maybe it will be this communications that would move the needle? The "I will say it first". And I have a lot of "I will say it first" moments. But I guess I will end up with the same narrative. There are so many papers, so many publications out there, writing another one will just contribute to the noise or if someone picks this up 10 years down. I don't know... who lives, who dies, who tells your story... I guess the only difference that I am pursuing for is not honour but for action. I don't know how long do I need to see something. Am I even doing anything? Am I doing anything helpful? Am I doing something important? What is the vision? What are the goals? WHAT AM I DOING?

This hurts. But I am frustrated. What am I trying to achieve? How long do I need? Why do I feel so confused, bleak, and negative? I woke up today, feeling hopeful that perhaps I just need to stay optimistic and hopeful. But it really did not take a few waking hours, for me to fall back into my constant loop of frustration and uselessness.

 I know I just need to stay positive and optimistic. But I think I can't be just mindlessly positive and optimistic. There must be reasonable grounds why I think there is still hope. That there is still a reason to fight for. And I have to find this reason fast. I need to get out of this rut very soon. 

June 2024

04/23/24 12:55 p.m.

It has been wild. I started back at work on May 6 and it is already June 23. It has been close to 8 weeks, 2 months of my time with EI. I have already staffed on 3 different natured projects - worked on ESG-related matters, GHG accounting for an interesting industry, RE strategy for a client spanning 10 countries (5 new countries, in which I was really unfamiliar with), and BD for a global implementation project. Safe to say that this > duality has clearly highlighted my areas for improvement and my desire to become more "technical" in RE (i.e., understanding the nitty gritty of the grid balancing, RE capacity injections, and financial modelling for different markets).

Key Areas for Improvement:

1. More detailed-oriented - to come with a fresh pair of eyes, so I can highlight self-made mistakes early on before it goes for review. This is rather important for me, because sometimes, we only one chance to make an impression to the client and when time is tight, review cycles might not be able to come back in time. Ensuring that my end deliverable is already client-ready is essential.
2. Knowledge building - to keep amassing industry, market, and operational details so that I can explain to others in a layman's way. I have been refining this skill of simplifying complex knowledge and synthesizing research materials to clear, bite-sized, insights-driven outputs. But before I can even synthesis anything, there is a need for me to go into the research with a "base load" and this is what I feel is missing for really complex technical topics. Key topics: grid capacity, electricity pricing markets (e.g., forward, futures trading), and project financing (e.g., bank guarantees and legal regulatory issues surrounding onsite solar systems).
3. External Communication - already had multiple client meetings and AG told me that I provided quality insights, good knowledge of the market, and a structured approach in helping our client out. I think what I really want to improve on is being a stronger and more confident advisor for them. And explaining or making my point across to them in a clear approach. Eventually, they need to know what is the 1, 2, and 3. 

Moving forward for July and August, I would want to refine these 3 soft and hard skills. The end destination I hope to be is like how I am after 6 months of doing sustainable logistics in BLX. All the market information is at my fingertips and I know clearly what matters most for certain markets, more specifically, India, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines - okay, if I go on, I am literally gonna start listing all countries in Asia LOL.

On a side note, though hectic, I had a lot of fun this month at work, deep diving into multiple countries and I had the chance with multiple RE developers across the region as well, in Myanmar, Japan, Thailand, Pakistan. It was really super cool. Also, I had a really cool AMEA knowledge session with a construction director, who was and still is managing an end-to-end wind farm project in Egypt. The operational side of me was really tingling, I miss managing supply chain-related projects, from sourcing of solutions, commercializing and running project financial and environmental modelling, pitching, piloting, writing SOPs and then going live.

And of course, just to stay balanced, I am also aiming to get exposure to decarb projects, more on the solutions-side of things. That would probably bring me the closest to what I was doing previously. I miss having a corporate playground.

Next month would be slightly hectic - I will be going to a conference in Bali (I can really take that time to up my game for area of improvement #2), an offsite, and SMU commencement ceremony would take place then. In the meantime, we are wrapping up on our open letter on the oil spill incident (Marine HONOUR and Vox MAXIMA) and I have to get back into the carbon market and biodiversity financing conversation thread in my headspace, haha.

Met up with 2 of my friend groups and to say the least, I absolutely missed them. One brought back memories in JC and how driven I was then and I can't help but to compare how I am now. The other group brought back fond memories of my time in Thailand. It is still hands-down one of the best part of my life and it will really take a lot to change that fact. I have been meaning to find time to reconnect with old pals, but the procrastination is real - I suppose I don't want to open up threads that I know I cannot continue at that point in time. I would reserve to open those up when I have the capacity to  P'Mook, Hang, Edwin.

I think it really works best for me when I am very self-aware of my capacity - be it mental or physical. It helps me to better manage expectations and to ensure that I do give in my all for people and topics around me. But to communicate this concept of capacity, it is difficult because not everyone understands. Until I can find a better way to explain this, it will likely take a backseat.

June is always a month of reflection and healing for me. I have one last week to bring everything altogether, before my next birth year starts all again. 

Rookie for life.

Heart strong, mind stronger,

Hui

Jetlag

 04/17/24 02:02 p.m.

"I love the land more than my country. I love the earth more than the flag." Jetlag - Luke Wallace

I don't know this country enough but why do I feel a sense of belonging? There is an inherent want for me to understand this country, the land, and the people better. I am not sure why but I can feel it within my bones.

Maybe one day I want to put myself and root myself in this Southeast Asian land, it doesn't matter where exactly I am but somewhere here or there. To me, the borders and boundaries are not as distinct as we see on maps.

Regardless, this is an interesting thought. I think it is time for me to connect with like-minded individuals beyond where I am, starting with my birth country. It could be an interesting back-to-my-roots journey.

Rookie for life,

Hui

Moments I think about all the time

These are moments that I think about all the time:

1. The trip out of BKK - Forbes was driving. Claire, Swati, and Chesed were singing softly while it started drizzling outside. I took the window seat and slept through almost the entire way. We arrived at this cafe, it was a beautiful one near the hillside. The view was insane as we overlooked the entire roadway towards the cafe. The clouds felt within reach and the sky was our only limit.

2. The local restaurant near Lance's uncle's condo - we had som tam there after an intense gymming session. The spices there hit the hardest and I will never forget how bad it was (but in a good way). Phet maak.

3. The beancurd place - Forbes brought us to eat at this Thai traditional dessert place. But what all of the customers were hooked on was the female volleyball game that was screening. It was super intense and the small spot erupted with cheers or disappointment with every point scored and lost. My first time in BKK was for football and I left that trip with nothing but deep admiration for the athleticism and determination that the Female Thai players have at such a young age. 

4. Dolphins - Dolphins came and greeted us in the boat when we were island hopping around Phuket with S46. I prayed and hoped to catch a glimpse of them that day. It was almost as though they heard my prayers and appeared. I will never forget that moment.

5. The cold air - Huey, Xiao Yan, and I took a long stroll all the way out from the lodge. Though we were seriously disturbed with flies, the cold air wrapped us all around. But, the air became warmer as the sun started to creep out. It was a warm embrace as I took in everything that Nature had to give.

6. 5 odd kites - the rest went to do either kayaking or trucking, while the locals and I decided to take a bike ride instead. We cycled past the dam and saw everything as much as we wanted to. We plopped ourselves at the roadside to watch the sunset, with 5 odd kites flying right above us. The air felt clean and it was a constant slap in my face.

7. Peppa Pig - I was really happy when I was around the children and Youths I met in Vietnam. If anything, I hope to be their joy and sunshine for a day. I told myself that. And I am super glad I was. The hospitality that I received when the cooks heard that I was vegetarian was beyond me. I kept trying to convince them that what they cooked was more than enough for me. But it was the one in the wheelchair for me. She was a joy to be around and she was indeed, the big sister of the entire group. She took care of everyone and she also wanted to take care of me. She gifted me a Peppa Pig and it is still with me till today. One day, I will return with the Peppa Pig with me. 

8. Skipping around Benjakitti Park - I loved spending my time just walking and skipping around Benjakitti with one earbud plugged in. The view, the sky, the quaint silence in the morning and late evenings. I never finished the walk between Benjakitti and Lumphini Park but I do intend to soon.

Will add on when these moments come...

March/April 2024

04/13/24 09:20 p.m.

It has been a wild 2 months to say the very least. While I am contented with where I am right now, I know that what I have right now did not come easy. I always believe that my life thus far has always humbled me as a person. I am such a living embodiment of "一分耕耘，一份收获" and I have never doubted that. In fact, time and time again, different experiences that I went through forced me to face this reality. If I ever get to taste any level of success, it would require buckets of hardwork, tears, and sweat. In hindsight, the only thing I would have wanted to improve on is having proper time management so I do not need to completely squeeze myself dry of exercising and socialising with friends.

This week is my last week in EI and it is the week I managed to receive feedback from the people whom I worked with. And of course, there was a mix of "you did well in..." and "what could have been better is...". I was genuinely touched by some of the feedback, but they just fuelled my motivation to want to be better and strive better at value-adding more to the team and of course, to the broader purpose and impact our organization stands for. 

I am excited to start as a full-time analyst and embark on this journey of self-development. There are so many things I do not understand and know yet. But, I hope to figure things out while I am at this pivotal stage of my life. I came so long and so far. Right now, I am really reaching the end of my 16 years of education. Of course, learning will never stop - it cannot stop and must not stop for me. The better I get at what I do, the more in depth I know what I know, the more beneficial it will be for you, Earth. For that, I will go faster, do more, and protect as much as I can.

I hope one day, I can look back and truly say that I have done what I can, given what I have. I hope the clients I support would be empowered to do the right things for our shared land. I hope I would be able to go at full throttle with the support of my loved ones, especially cw. But for now, I know I need get over the immediate tasks. As much as I would want to procrastinate, I know there are things that need to be done and I need to just get through this.

There are plenty of things to do so I will get started now!

Rookie for life,

Hui

Jan/Feb 2024

02/24/24 04:58 p.m.

I started this year, 2024, with a bang honestly.

I became extremely family-oriented throughout 2023 and spent a lot of time being around my family and with myself alone. My last internship of 2023 ended in November and I had the whole month of December to myself. I spent most of the month at home, cooking, and doing housework with my Mum to prepare for the upcoming Chinese New Year. It was a very peaceful month, to say the least. I became more in tune with the type of dishes and food I can cook. And without fail, I will always end the day with a run around my neighbourhood.

The first week of 2024, I went back to VJ for homecoming and it was enjoyable to play football and see everyone again. Afrin came by and it was nothing but exciting to see my good o' Aussie friend again. And of course, she was doing great and on track to becoming a doctor. I caught up with my classmates and the soccer girls. Met some of my teachers back then. You know that time flies when you see streaks of grey and white hair. It has been 4 years since I graduated from VJ.

The following week I started a new internship at another sustainability consulting firm, easily one of the best ones in the field. I very quickly integrated myself among the many new faces and people whom I met. What really stood out to me was the depth of analysis that this firm provides - very aligned with me as a person. I dedicate myself to research so that I can always support decision-making using a knowledge-driven approach. Thus far, I have completed multiple research assignments and tasks in renewable energy strategy and procurement. It has been a steep learning curve but I do feel that the gradient has yet to smoothen out yet. At the end of it, I hope to see myself covering a wide array of topics, including renewable energy, climate risk, and decarbonization strategy, and be super quick and fast in identifying levers for them. Like what Mr Y says... I need things to be automatic for me, i.e., within the snap of a finger, I would know immediately. I think I have much to learn and to improve on. I am giving myself a runway of 3 years here and I hope to be able to be quick-witted, adaptable, and flexible. I will aim to value-add and do the best that I can for the planet. I hope that Earth will guide me. Deciding to do things after graduation has been tough. I stayed up countless nights, no matter how tired I was, just being stuck in this dilemma of not knowing where to go and how to approach it. Everything yet nothing made sense to me at all. I was terribly hating this situation that I was in and I felt like I was trying to be someone I am not. I was trying to get on a level that I am not there yet. I was wearing a hat that was too big for my head. Imposter syndrome would hit me twice as hard if I were to go towards that direction. I then decided to stay, to stay within the zone where I knew I could contribute and learn. I was basically a coward for not putting myself outside of my comfort zone. But I gave myself the assurance that I would be back and I am glad and hopeful that when I am ready, the doors will still be open for me. 

I started my last semester of school as well and trudging through the final semester has been nothing but painful - or I thought so. But I met a bunch of wonderful girls that made my last semester probably nothing but the best few semesters I ever had in my 4 years in SMU. They were the funniest, quirkiest, most dedicated, and most committed bunch of people I have ever encountered. And when we come in together, it is truly like fireworks. Fireworks that lit up my dullest days. Mid-point presentation with our client went too well, super well in fact. On my end, there is a strong need for us to really manage our expectations for the client. But I can foresee what the deliverables for the client would look like. I really hope that we are able to support them in making decisions that will help them fulfil their long-term goals. The rest of my modules are pretty standard, though I am truly finding some fun in Management Accounting. My affinity with numbers has never jumped straight at me as hard as when I am doing MA.

I was involved in 3 beach clean-ups for these 2 months and I hope to keep creating chances for me to be involved in this scene. I missed seeing the warm blue ocean and the beaches. I would never ever get bored of this side of Singapore. This year is also my first time facilitating beach clean-ups with Stridy and I am very excited to participate in more such sessions to come. I end up meeting so many more people who are super passionate about the world as much or even more than I do. I don't intend to ever leave this side of Youth activism. I am targeting to become even more active in this field this year, for the right reasons.

Regardless, February was really more tiring than January. I could consistently wake up at 6AM in January because I needed to complete some assignments or to finish some work. But when February came about, my physical health was deteriorating (and I literally could feel it) and I lost weight. I was constantly cold and was wrapping myself in a jacket all the time. When I end the semester in April, I hope to be able to get my health back on track and keep myself fit.

I hope to also get myself back on track with Football, I have been going rather consistently throughout January, but as February rolled around, I became so busy and occupied that Monday nights became impossible for me to just go for Football. Work was rather intense in the first month and slowly winded down at the end of the month and caught back up in February. I am staffed on two ongoing projects and they have been interesting - I managed to keep myself up to speed for both and I am obviously thankful for the opportunities that I have been given and I would do nothing but my best when it comes to them (those that matter, of course). I hope to meet more people this year and to be able to do more good things for this world. 

I hope that I learn to let myself go sometimes and not beat myself up for my cowardice.

Onwards to March 2024 as we close up Q1'24.

Rookie for life,

Hui