Settle down

05/23/2020 09:23 p.m.

I finally settled my heart down. And by that, what I mean is that I stopped thinking about all the unforeseeable things that might happen to me in the future. Ironic because you technically cannot predict what you cannot predict. But that is exactly what we are capable of, isn't it? A brilliant mind to think about all sorts of "pathways" that we could choose to take in our entire lifetime.

Thinking is good. Not overthinking though. 

This brings me back to settling down. Fortunately, I am no longer overthinking these few weeks. I am pretty sure that it will come back and haunt me. But, I have learnt to commend myself for even the smallest achievements. I am proud of myself for always trying to re-charge my own emotional battery when it is less than 10%, no matter how hard it seems. I decided to trust myself, trust my plans and trust my own instincts. I decided to take heart and have faith in myself. I decided to invest in and bet on myself. 

I gave myself time to work on myself because I am definitely not someone who can work without a plan in general. But I don't think that means coming up with an insane number of plans from A to Z. But I believe it is more of coming up with a realistic number of plans that I will definitely stick with in the long run. Not plans that are flimsy or are ever-changing based on my mood because that will just worsen my anxiety. However, this does not mean that the plans are rigid, there must definitely be a certain degree of flexibility. 

After that was done, fixing my mentality was next. I told myself and I am still telling myself that that was it. I just need to trust what I came up with because I know exactly what is best for myself and what I am capable of. This self-confidence might crumble on bad days, which is why on good days, it is important to strengthen the foundation, fix it and brace it. 

I need to focus on getting better than the previous versions of myself before I can do anything else. (Note: not about comparing yourself with other people, but with yourself)

The question for all of us currently is  "do we have what it takes?", but the question for the future us will definitely be "is the world ready for us?". And that is on positivity and confidence. 

Hope you find some comfort (motivation?) reading this and for sure, you ain't alone in the journey you are in. While you are all sad, moody and emotional, remember to look up and around. There are people looking out for you and there are people there for you. Don't be too blindsided by what you are experiencing to forget all the blessings and all the good things you have. 

Forever a work in progress,

Work hard, Stay Humble.

xoxo, Hui