Truth

05/04/2020 02:11 p.m.

This circuit breaker has been testing my limits to a whole new level. It opened up raw and real emotions, which are things I really do not want to deal with currently. My emotions overwhelm me on new levels and sometimes, they are just too much for me to handle. Circuit breaker took away something so precious to me and probably to everyone out there in the world. The right to be free. The right to do whatever hell you want to do. And to a certain extent, the right to define your own truth.

For someone whose life is so intertwined with sports, this circuit breaker is really taking a toll on my physical and mental health. I miss the feeling of running around my neighborhood. Working from home can be a dream come true for many and for me, definitely to a certain extent. But the stress that comes from not only work but life, in general, is taking over me and thoughts are flooding into my mind like a broken dam. For me, running tucks all of that away. When you run or do sports in general, there is only one thing and only one thing in your head: to push on to run or to score. Your mind takes a break from everything you are dealing with at the moment. While I am exploring other ways for me to deal with stress, I will continue to try to stay afloat in this quicksand for now.

Undoubtedly, this is an issue only the privileged would have. Everyone is privileged to a certain extent but whether we recognize it is another story by itself. But, that should not mean that the issues we are facing are not validated. Everyone is dealing with their own problems and issues which I feel that it would be unfair to compare. The problems that you might be facing may seem trivial to some, but they are important to you and so be it. The obstacles that you face in life cannot and should not be judged by others because it is your own inner battle with your own inner demons. This, by itself, is extremely personal and close to your heart. By trivializing someone else's issues destroys the person more than you might think. If you think that by telling someone that there are people out there in the world who are having it worse than you is going to help, think again.

I am guilty of saying things like "what is so hard?" and or "I don't get why is he/she so affected by it". What I am really doing is defining the truth for them. The truth to me is that it is not that hard and he/she should definitely not be affected by it but that is my truth. Not theirs. I fail to remember that they are dealing with their own inner battles with their own inner demons.

So, I don't think I should have judged all the people who were affected by the bubble tea shops closing because to them, their love for bubble tea is probably equivalent to my love for sports. For all we know, there are those who seek comfort and solace from drinking bubble tea. There are those who use bubble tea to cope with their stress.

Always a work in progress.
xoxo, Hui