Obsession

20/07/21 02:40 p.m. 

"You want to know what I think about you?"

"Haha, sure, I would love to hear from you."

"You will go far in life, Hui Ling. You will do well but you need to get over all of these hurdles."

I am bound to meet people who are different from me. 

I am bound to meet people whom I seemingly cannot work with.

I am bound to meet people who have different belief systems as myself. 

But the thing is, I don't need everyone to adore me. I don't need everyone to like me. I just need them to be able to work with me, willingly. I need to learn how to deal with people like that. I need to learn how to manage people like that.

"I just have 0 capacity to deal with it. I want to choose my battles, you know?"

"Sure, you can choose your battles. But, are you expanding your battlefield?"

"I-"

Then it hit me, am I really stepping outside of my comfort zone? Though the project that I am managing right now has its own fair share of obstacles and curveballs, these challenges are not foreign to me. I always thought that it is a blessing that I always have people who complement my working style around me. Now, is it really a blessing? I am depriving myself of the possibility of working with a variety of people and the chance to be able to manage people who are different from me. 

I don't want to deal with emotions because emotions are complicated. But, it is exactly because it is hard, it is complicated, it is not easy, all the more I should go for it. I should not be looking for easy.  The battles that I am choosing need to thoroughly challenge me as an individual. The battles that I am choosing need to be able to make me uncomfortable. The battles that I am choosing need to be able to make me want to pull my hair out and throw my guts out.

I want to force myself to live within the uncomfortable and to be alright with the uncomfortable. 

Because that is the only way I will learn and become better.

"Thank you, Danny."